Fic Off
by KonekoTsuki
Summary: Just a bunch of random short stories, all are one-hour challenges with required sentences and scenes. (First chapter is Yu-Gi-Oh new year party) (Sister story by Sango5)
1. New Year New Mayhem

Fic Off  
  
Chapter One: New Year, New Mayhem  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, or any mentioned products.  
  
Summary: A New Year's Eve party at the Kaiba Mansion gets completely out of hand. One hour challenge fic with required sentences and scenes of DOOM! Complete randomness!  
  
Warning: Rated for crude humor.  
  
Qualifications-  
  
Sentences:  
  
1) I'm a pretty pony! Clipity clop!  
  
2) The label says 'Caution: hot' for a reason.  
  
3) I'm not drunk! (Hiccup) Isn't this apple cider?  
  
4) I bent her over and spanked her.  
  
Scenes:  
  
1) Someone injured by fireworks.  
  
2) Karaoke singing.  
  
---------------------  
  
It's New Year's eve, and Seto Kaiba--after much convincing from Mokuba--has decided to throw a New Year's party in his spacious mansion. The invitations have been sent out to the few guests, and the pricy caterers are scurrying around with large trays of varying delicacies.  
  
Mokuba is trying to blow up one hundred balloons all by his lonesome. Placing a bright pink, half-filled balloon on the ground, Mokuba took a breather, "Number ten."  
  
Seto raised an eyebrow at the raven-haired boy, "Only ten? Ninety to go." He chuckled at Mokuba's indignant look.  
  
"I can count myself, donut lady." Mokuba retorted.  
  
"Donut lady?" Seto blinked, completely baffled.  
  
The boy waved his hand at his elder brother, "Long story. You wouldn't get it, you have no sense of humor." He tossed two rolls of red and blue streamers at Seto, "Help decorate."  
  
Seto saluted Mokuba crookedly, "Yes, sir." He received a well-aimed pillow to his head before he left the room.  
  
Mokuba looked sadly at his meager pile of deflating balloons, sighing. "I need help." He spotted Seto's small silver cellphone and, grinning mischievously, he began to dial. "Hello? Hey, it's Mokuba. I wanted to invite you all to a New Year's party. No, it's tomorrow, January second. Of course it's tonight." He laughed, "Can you all come over now? I could use your help with the decorations. Yea, knock on the window of my room." he smiled devilishly, "I want to see Seto's face when his favorite people in the world arrive at the party. Okay, bye." He snapped the cellphone closed, laughing to himself.  
  
-----------------------------------  
  
A wild knocking on the window startled Mokuba while he continued blowing up balloons. With a quick look down the second floor hallway to make sure Seto wasn't around, Mokuba opened the window, allowing five young girls to fall into the room in a large pile.  
  
"Ouch, get offa my tail, Spork!" Pan, the medieval-style-clothes- wearing fox demon, yelped, shoving an orange haired squirrel demon dressed in a tank top and jeans.  
  
Spork stuck her tongue out at Pan, "Blame Dicen, she fell on me first!" The squirrel demon jabbed an accusing finger at the dice addicted dog demon with wild black and white hair.  
  
Dicen, busying straightening the wrinkles out of her red 'I love Duke' shirt and blue jeans, shrugged, "Let's just blame Squirrel and Tsuki. They pushed us in the window."  
  
Squirrel, a young squirrel demon with red and black hair and clothing similiar to Spork's, blinked, "Me? I didn't push anyone. Tsuki pushed me because she wanted to get in here to see Seto."  
  
Mokuba stared in alarm at Tsuki, the bishie huntress, white haired wolf demon, as she walked out the door, calling loudly, "Seto! Oh, Seto! Where are you?"  
  
Pan, not wanting to ruin Seto's 'surprise' grabbed Tsuki by one of her multiple fluffy tails, yanking her back into the room, but not before turning her chibi--a result of pulling Tsuki's tails.  
  
Mokuba sighed with relief as Pan restrained the energetic chibi wolf demon. "Seto can't know you guys are here yet. We'll surprise him when the other guests arrive. Until then, let's have a contest."  
  
All five demons cheered quietly.  
  
"Okay, the rules are simple," Mokuba explained, "all you have to do is blow up as many balloons as you can. They have to be full of air, or it doesn't count." He raised his arms above his head, bringing them down quickly, "Go!"  
  
The five girls immediately snatched up piles of mutlicolored, deflated balloons and began filling them with air. Mokuba grinned, relishing his simple victory.  
  
---------------------------------  
  
Meanwhile, downstairs, Seto had run out of streamers and now every possible banister, shelf, railing, table and chair had been wrapped in colorful paper. Seto admired his work for a moment, smirking to himself.  
  
A spasmatic ringing of the doorbell brought Seto back to the present realm. With a sigh, Seto headed to the door, "And now Hell begins." He pulled the front doors open to reveal Joey Wheeler, Yugi Motou, Duke Devlin, Ryou Bakura and Serenity Wheeler.  
  
Seto shrugged, "Come in. I have to go find Mokuba." Without a further word, he hurried up the winding stairs in search of his little brother.  
  
Joey whistled in awe as he strolled into the living room, "Damn, how does a guy like dat get so friggin' lucky?" Yugi and Duke shrugged in response.  
  
Serenity, running her fingers over a silver statue of a Blue Eyes White Dragon, looked up as a startled yell sounded from upstairs. "What was that?"  
  
Just then, Seto came stomping downstairs, yelling something about the danger allowing his stalkers into his own home and how it makes restraining orders useless. Mokuba was right behind him, trying hard not to laugh. Before Seto could rant any further, he was knocked down the few remaining steps by a small white blur. Sliding on the marble floor and coming to a halt just inches from the front door, Seto glared at the hyperactive small girl sitting on his chest, singing cheerfully.  
  
"Seto, Seto, I love Seto! Set-Set, sexy, sexy Set-Set!" Tsuki sang happily, bouncing with glee on Seto's stomach.  
  
"Get off me, demon!" Seto shouted, grabbing Tsuki by the back of her shirt and tossing her.  
  
Pan, Spork, Squirrel and Dicen crashed down the stairs, landing in a heap at the bottom. Before anyone could ask if they were all right, they had jumped to their feet.  
  
Squirrel shouted at the top of her lungs, "Let's get this party started!"  
  
Dicen snickered as she raced to the high tech stereo system and started playing loud dance music.  
  
Pan and Spork pulled large bottles of sake from God-knows-where and began spiking all the drinks. Joey, liking the idea of getting drunk off sake, immediately began downing as many cups as he could.  
  
Ryou and Yugi, the quiet hikaris everyone thought they were, started up the karaoke machine, singing uproarously to Pink's song "Let's Get This Party Started".  
  
Mokuba cheered happily as he danced with Dicen. Duke began brewing cups of coffee to help sober up Joey later.  
  
Seto, while trying to unlatch Tsuki from his leg, stared in shock at the complete change in everyone's nature.  
  
Pan laughed as she downed a bottle of Sake, throwing an arm over Joey's shoulder, "Guess what!"  
  
The blonde blinked in an attempt to focus his vision, "Huh?"  
  
"I'm a pretty pony! Clipity clop!" Pan giggled hysterically as she danced around, pretending to ride an invisible horse.  
  
Spork, swinging from the chandelier, poured a cup of sake over Seto's head as he tried to unplug the karaoke machine. He received a nasty electrical shock.  
  
Seto glared up at the squirrel demon, "Get down from there! You shouldn't swing from chandeliers, especially when drunk, idiot!"  
  
Spork giggled, waving a finger at Seto, "I'm not drunk!" she hiccuped, "Isn't this apple cider?" She looked at the cup quizzically.  
  
Yugi, having somehow deciding he lost to Ryou in karaoke, gave up his microphone to Serenity as the song 'Freckles' began playing. He opened up his backpack, revealing a large supply of fireworks.  
  
Mokuba cheered as he grabbed the fireworks and a box of matches, "Whee! Fireworks!"  
  
Squirrel raced to the boy's side, "FIRE!!" She snatched up fireworks from Mokuba's hand, lighting a short fused rocket and sending it flying at Joey.  
  
The blonde yelped in pain as the firework burnt his pants, "Hot! Hot! Hot!" he danced around trying to put out the flames.  
  
Duke poured a pot of coffee on Joey, dousing the flames.  
  
The blonde glared at Duke, "Dat's hot too!"  
  
The emerald eyed boy shrugged, "The label says 'caution: hot' for a reason." He flipped his hair, "How else do you suggest I put out the fire."  
  
Joey shrugged, "I helped a girl put out a fire that had started on her skirt once."  
  
Yugi blinked up at the blonde, "How did you do that?"  
  
With a pervish wink, Joey shouted, "I bent her over and spanked her!"  
  
Everyone, including Mokuba--who didn't completely understand the joke- -, laughed at the boisterous announcement.  
  
Seto, having gotten fairly tipsy from the small amount of sake poured on him, began dancing with Serenity on a table, both singing to 'The Reason' on the karaoke machine.  
  
Tsuki, having returned to her normal size and grown bored with--in her opinion--the mild display of mayhem, sat on the couch, watching TV, "Hey! The countdown's starting!" She pointed at the screen as a large number ten appeared.  
  
Squirrel, curled up under the couch with the remainder of the sake, yelled, "Nine!"  
  
"Eight!" chorused Mokuba and Spork, both now seated on the chandelier.  
  
"Seven!" Duke, downing cups of coffee, exclaimed cheerfully.  
  
"Six!" Yugi shouted as he lit more fireworks.  
  
"Five!" Dicen hollered from atop the stereo.  
  
"Four!" Pan yelled as she rode a broom in circles, spanking it like a horse.  
  
"Three!" Serenity giggled, watching the screen.  
  
"Two!" Ryou yelled into the microphone.  
  
"One!" Seto said as he drank from a cup of sake.  
  
"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" Everyone chorused; fireworks exploding everywhere, balloons raining down from Heaven-knows-where, and sake and wine spilling on everything.  
  
Spork, waving a bottle of sake, fell off the chandelier, "What a party!"  
  
===========================Zeh end!  
  
A/N: I did this as a "Fic Off" (Lol...fic off...) with my sister. The qualifications were a few sentences, two scenes, and it had to be done in an hour. Read my sister's under the pen name "Sango5", it's titled "Fic Off". XP I hope you liked it, please review!!! 


	2. Turning The Zoo Into A Zoo

Fic Off  
  
Chapter Two: Turning The Zoo Into a Zoo Disclaimer: I don't own Wolf's Rain or any other products mentioned. Summary: The wolves have somehow ended up at the zoo, along with the K. O. T. knights (OC). And if the knights are there, it's guaranteed to be Hell. Stolen pants, jousting animals and mayhem everywhere. Qualifications- Sentences: 1) Give me back my pants. 2) Bodily injury may result from the misuse of this (author's choice of object). 3) Don't boggart the penguin. 4) I'm allergic to plastic. Scenes- 1) Someone falls into an animal cage. 2) A jousting match between people on animals.  
  
-------------------------------------- Hige danced with joy as the towering gates of the zoo came into view, "The zoo! We have to go! They have the best food!" Tsume prodded Hige's stomach, "You have enough food in that belly to feed a pack for a year, Porky." Toboe, using the all powerful puppy eyes, clung to Tsume's arm, "Can we go? Please?" Tsume and Kiba exchanged nervous glances, Kiba sighing in resignation, "Okay, but only for a little while." The four wolves-appearing-as-humans, entered the relatively empty zoo. -------------------------------------- Pan, Squirrel, Spork and Spam--a pirating ferret demon--strolled into the zoo. Well, Pan and Spam strolled into the zoo, Squirrel and Spork were pushed in wheelchairs, while playing a game of Go Fish. Pan, struggling to push Squirrel's wheelchair up a steep incline, whined, "Why do you have to sit in these stupid things?" Squirrel grinned innocently, "I'm allergic to plastic. It disables me." The fox demon blinked in confusion, "Eh? Half of this wheelchair is made of plastic!" The red and black haired squirrel demon nodded solemnly, "Exactly, which is why I'm disabled." Pan glanced at Spam, trying to push Spork's wheelchair up the stairs, "Does that make any sense, Spam?" The ferret demon, having succeeded in her task, frowned, "This is Squirrel we're talking about. Does anything she say make sense?" All four demons chorused, "No! It's the Knight's code! No words spoken by a true Knight of the Octagon Table should make sense to the moronic mortals!"  
  
And thus, Pan stopped complaining about pushing Squirrel everywhere and Spam learned that pushing wheelchairs down stairs was really fun, as did Spork. As the four peculiar knights reached a rather steeply sloped hill, they gasped at the spacious zoo stretched out below. Pan and Spam exchanged eager looks. "You thinking what I'm thinking?" They both asked. Squirrel and Spork nodded, "Let's do it!" With cries of joy, Pan and Spam leapt onto the back of the wheelchairs, sending the contraptions careening down the hill at break neck speed. ------------------------------------------ Tsume stopped, glancing around suspiciously. "Do you hear that?" Hige, face covered in chocolate ice cream and pieces of popcorn, looked up from his bag of candy, "Hear what?" Toboe glanced around, hugging a stuffed zebra nervously, "It sounds like screaming." "We should get out of here," Kiba said, becoming alert. "Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" The sound of four screeches of joy sounded from nearby. Tsume's eyes nearly bulged out of his skull when he saw the two wheelchairs, laden with two demons each, speeding toward him. Before he could jump out of the way, the wheelchairs collided, sending him and the four girls crashing through a large hedge. Hige, Toboe and Kiba pulled the hedge out of the way, staring at the three girls and Tsume hanging on a long metal railing used to border the animal cage. The fourth girl, Spam, was lying on the oddly white ground, inside the cage. Pan, Spork and Squirrel were helped onto solid ground by Kiba and Hige. Toboe helped Tsume. Spam sat up, rubbing her head as she surveyed her surroundings. "Hey! Look at all the cool white ice and water!" Pan, peering into the cage, laughed, "That's the penguin exhibit!" "Duh!" Spam yelled as she was greeted by three fat little penguins, "Hi, little buddies!" She began to pet two of the penguins, the third growing angry from lack of attention. Squirrel, Pan and Spork, giggling hysterically, covered their eyes as Spam shouted in embarrassment, "Hey! Give me back my pants!" The ferret demon chased the third, neglected penguin around the cage, her baggy pants clamped firmly in its beak. The other two penguins were on their backs, their squawks resembling laughter. Squirrel, Pan, and Spork glanced down at the squawking penguins then to each other, "Squawking penguins!" They went into a new fit of giggles. Spam, having finally recovered her pants and apologized to the thief penguin, climbed out of the cage. The four wolves and four knights stood watching the black and white flightless birds for a few moments. A rude zoo go-er tapped Pan on the shoulder, "Hey! Don't boggart the penguin." Spam arched an eyebrow, "Penguin? There's more than one. Can't you count?" The zoo go-er blinked a few times, blushing, "No. Don't rub it in!" He ran away, crying for his mommy. Pan snickered, "Luz0r!" She looked at the four nervous wolves, "Hi! I'm Pan! And these fellow lunatics are Squirrel, Spork and Spam!" She gestured to each knight. Hige, liking the idea of hanging out with females--especially one that was a fox, which he considered to be close enough to a wolf--cleared his throat, "I'm Hige. And these guys are Toboe, Kiba and Tsume." Spork immediately glued herself to Kiba's side, "Hello!" Kiba stared in surprise at her, "Do you have to use industrial strength glue?" The squirrel demon nodded, "Yup." Squirrel, feeling she should be leader of their group, pointed down a path, "To the camels!" She began marching. Spam, Pan, Hige and Toboe imitating her. Kiba tried to break from the glue bond between him and Spork, but was dragged along anyways. Tsume brought up the rear with his tight ass. "Camels, Ho!" Squirrel hollered, waving to the camels. She hopped into the cage and onto the back of the largest camel she could find. "Giddy up!" The camel began running around the exhibit, leaping easily over the fence and landing inches from Pan's feet. "Heeey! Watch it, Squirrel!" Pan yelled. Squirrel giggled, "Pan! I challenge ye to a showdown!" She faced her camel at Pan, "Choose your animal!" Pan, thinking quickly, jumped over the barrier to the elephant exhibit. Climbing onto one of the elephant's back, she urged the creature to crash through the cage fence. She faced Squirrel and her camel, "Bring it on, Squirrel!" She whipped out a skillet from her belt, leveling it like a lance. Squirrel, choosing a toilet brush as her lance, dug her heels into the camel's side, causing it to charge at Pan and the elephant. Pan did the same with her mount, racing at Squirrel with her skillet at the ready. Hige and Spam covered their eyes as the inevitable crash grew closer. Spork covered both her eyes and Kiba's, while Tsume shielded Toboe's young eyes. The elephant and camel collided like two freight trains, sending the demons flying. Squirrel landed on an elderly lady, Pan landed in a tree. Spam and Spork, trying hard to keep straight faces, helped Squirrel to her feet, completely ignoring the elderly woman, and Pan out of the tree. Pan stumbled, holding her head, "Oy, those elephants need a label that says 'Bodily injury may result from the misuse of this pachyderm.'" Squirrel nodded in agreement. Hige offered the jousters popsicles, "You guys jousted like real knights! It was awesome!" Pan scowled, "We are real knights. We are..." "...The Knights of the Octagon Table!!" All four demons chorused gleefully.  
  
Toboe grinned, "Cool! We got to meet real live knights!" He was about to bounce with joy when a heavy hand on his shoulder stopped him. He blinked up into the angry eyes of a Zoo Security Guard. "Excuse me, have you been jousting with Zoo Property?" The guard asked. "Have you been eating all the donuts?" Spork asked, prodding the guard's rather round stomach. "That's it. You're outta here." The guard said, and with some amazing Security Guard Power, managed to throw all eight of them outside the Zoo gates. Toboe, still clinging to his stuffed zebra, sighed, "I didn't get to see the lemurs." Pan grinned wickedly, "Don't be so sure. I took this to torment Spork." She pulled a ring-tailed lemur from her shirt, throwing it on Spork. "ACK!" Spork fell back, punching the lemur off her and onto Toboe's head. "You're going down, Pan!" She pulled a mole from her bottomless pants and tossed it on the fox demon, sending her running home to the K. O. T. castle with her fluffy tail between her legs. Spork chased after her with an armful of rabid moles. Squirrel and Spam, leading the jousting camel and elephant--affectionately named Humpy and Trumpy--followed the spastic pair, leaving the four wolves to go where they pleased. ===========================Zeh end! A/N: I did this as a "Fic Off" (Lol...fic off...) with my sister. The qualifications were a few sentences, two scenes, and it had to be done in an hour. Read my sister's under the pen name "Sango5", it's titled "Fic Off". XP I hope you liked it, please review!!! 


	3. The Curse Of The Two Day Rental

Fic Off

Chapter 3: The Curse Of The Two-Day Rental

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun, any movie or video store. This is purely for amusement.

Summary: Vash rented a new release video two days ago, and it's due at noon or else he gets a late fee. Can the Trigun gang get to the video store in time?

Warning: Rated for crude humor, language.

Qualifications-

Sentences:

1) "It's brand spankin' new."

2) "I was assaulted by the DVDs!"

3) "Give me a reason not to set you on fire."

4) "Ich bin ein berlina." (German for 'I am a donut.')

Scenes:

1) Someone popps ALL the popcorn in videostore.

2) Someone chews on a pen and it breaks.

-------------------------------------------

"Oh no!" Vash screamed at the top of his lungs as he hopped around frantically tugging his blonde hair.

Wolfwood, half asleep, glared at the humanoid typhoon, "What is wrong with you, needle noggin?"

Vash pointed at the box for the video 'The Last Samurai'. "I rented this two days ago! It's due at noon!" He glanced at a nearby clock, "And it's eight thirty!"

Milly gasped as she munched on some toast, "You'll get a late fee!"

Meryl looked shocked, "And then the Bernardelly Insurance Company will be held responsible! We can't have that!" She stood up, snatching the video and tossing it at Wolfwood. "Mr. Wolfwood, you are a responsible man, you make sure Vash gets this to the videostore in time."

Wolfwood glanced at the video box in his hands, "Okay, let's go." He tumbled out of his bed, tugging on a shirt.

Meryl, deciding she should stay and watch their rooms, waved farewell as the three rushed out the door.

Wolfwood, chewing on a red pen in a habit of anxiety, started up the car as Vash and Milly hopped in. The engine roared to life, stuttered, and died. Wolfwood cursed loudly, kicking the good-for-nothing car and calling it a spawn of Satan.

Vash examined the car in confusion, "But, it's brand spankin' new! How could it just die like that?"

Milly shrugged, "Maybe we didn't give it enough pudding."

Wolfwood ignored the pair, he was far too busy arguing with the inanimate object, "You damned useless piece of junk! Give me a reason not to set you on fire!" With another aggrivated kick, the priest stomped off down the road.

"Wait for us, Mr. Priest!" Milly called, following Wolfwood.

Vash sighed, easily catching up to them with his long, leisurely strides.

The trio traveled for a good couple miles without any real events. But all of a sudden, Legato was standing in their path.

"Just where do you think you're going?" Legato asked, glaring at the group.

Wolfwood sighed in frustration, "Get out of our way, Blue-y, we need to get to the video store before noon to return a movie!"

Legato narrowed his golden eyes, "What movie?"

Milly grinned, "The Last Samurai."

The blue haired villian smiled slightly, "That was a great movie. I'm actually headed to the video store as well."

Vash, not wanting any trouble, continued on this friendly topic, "What do you plan on getting?"

"I heard 'The Perfect Score' was good." Legato replied.

Wolfwood glanced at his watch, "Ack! It's already 10! We need to get going." He immediately started walking, Milly and Vash behind him.

Legato stood in place for a moment before quickly following after them--after all, it is more fun walking to the store when you have company.

Again, more uneventful miles. But then, as the group made their way through a very narrow canyon, a large cow appeared blocking their way.

The group tried to push the cow out of their way, but it weighed about five tons.

Becoming frustrated, Vash started ranting in German, "Ich bin ein berlina!"

The cow looked at the tall blonde, "Guten tag."

Wolfwood, Milly and Legato went wide eyed, since when did cows speak, and how did it know German!?

Vash laughed, "Hey, I like this cow!" He said something in German to the animal. It nodded and stepped to one side, allowing the group to pass.

Wolfwood scratched his head, "What did you say to that walking burger?"

The humanoid typhoon grinned, "I asked it if it would be kind enough to move, then I would bring it back some pixie sticks." He suddenly stopped walking and stared at Wolfwood.

The priest frowned, "What are you looking at!?"

Legato began to laugh, pointing at Wolfwood, "You have something red dripping out of your mouth!"

Milly gasped, "I didn't know you were a vampire!"

Wolfwood wiped at his mouth, scowling as he saw red ink on his shirt sleeve, "Damn pen! It must have broken while I was chewing it." He cursed, throwing the pen.

Before anyone else could bug Wolfwood about his ink covered chin, Vash saw the video store. "We're finally here!" He glanced at Wolfwood's watch, "And it's eleven fifty-nine!" He snatched the video box from the priest and raced for the drop box.

Milly counted the remaining time, biting her lower lip.

Ten seconds left, and Vash was still running. Five seconds, almost there. Three, two, one! Vash knew he wouldn't make it there by running, so he threw the box into the air, firing one bullet at it. As the clock changed to twelve, the box crashed through the store wall.

Wolfwood, Milly and Legato cheered as Vash sat on the ground panting.

"I almost didn't make it!" Vash gasped, being helped to his feet by Wolfwood.

Legato held the door open for his three enemies-turned-companions. As the four entered the store, they stared in awe at the huge array of movies.

Milly immediately raced for the snack stand, Wolfwood went to find some new movies with his favorite actresses, Legato went to the New Releases section, and Vash slowly strolled up and down the aisles.

Screams from the snack bar forced Vash and Legato to investigate. Clerks and customers were running as fast as they could away from Milly. The large girl was dancing in a pile of popcorn, every single bucket was empty of kernels and the popcorn machine was still overflowing with the buttery snacks.

"Whee! The pop 'n corn likes me!" Milly called, throwing armfuls of popcorn into the air.

Wolfwood suddenly appeared beside Vash looking violated.

"Where were you when the screaming started?" Vash asked, eyeing the priest.

"I got held up," Wolfwood replied, eleborating when he got confused looks from Legato and Vash, "I was assaulted by the DVDs!"

Legato winced, "That's a horrible fate. DVDs are extremely dangerous." He nodded wisely.

Vash, after pulling Milly out of the popcorn sea, held up a video box, "I got a movie, let's go."

Wolfwood, being careful to steer clear of the DVD racks, followed as Vash walked to the check-out counter.

Milly was forced to wait outside. Wolfwood went to accompany her and keep her entertained.

As Vash paid the rental fee, Legato stepped up to the counter with 'The Perfect Score' in his hand.

The blonde frowned slightly, "I wouldn't get that, if I were you."

"Why not?" Legato asked, looking offended.

"Well, it's a two day rental, you'll suffer the consequences of the Curse of the Two Day Rental," Vash explained.

Legato narrowed his eyes, "I know quite well what I am doing. I do not need your useless advise."

Vash shrugged, "Just trying to be helpful. Not my fault if you'll be an idiot."

All of a sudden, the store clerk went blank-eyed and aimed a gun at Vash's head. The blonde ducked the bullet just in time.

Legato continued controlling the minds of the store employees, chasing Vash out of the store. With a smug smirk, Legato used his mind control powers to check out all the movies for free, and take all the snack foods he wished, no charge.

Vash, Wolfwood and Milly returned home to find the reciept to 'The Last Samurai'. It had been due the day before, and thus, the Curse of the Two Day Rental continues, because no matter how hard you try, you cannot return the movie on time!

===========================Zeh end!

A/N: I did this as a "Fic Off" (Lol...fic off...) with my sister. The qualifications were a few sentences, two scenes, and it had to be done in an hour. Read my sister's under the pen name "Sango5", it's titled "Fic Off". XP I hope you liked it, please review!!!

Another A/N: The Curse of the Two Day Rental is our family curse, no matter how hard we try, we can never return movies on time. And now, the whole world has been warned of this cruel curse!...or at least those that actually read this.


	4. Insert Nifty Chapter Title Here

Fic-Off

Summary: The YGO crew, during their Technical Theatre class, has been ordered to clean out the 'C' train. Is it humanly possible for them to survive the prop deathtrap?

Disclaimer: In case you haven't noticed, I ain't got the money to own ANY anime or manga, I borrow everything from my sister's rich best friend, the Lord of Caffeine, Coffey-san!

Warning: Tea bashing, minor Yugi bashing, evil turtles

Sentences

1) Have you tried not being a mutant?

2) Dance, dance on the concrete!

3) If God was a cat, would you run him over?

4) The wood's too big, I can't get it out! Ugghhhh!!!!

Scenes

1) Someone's stuck inside a barrel and they're suffocating.

2) A giant turtle has latched onto someone's face.

Chapter 4: Insert Nifty Chapter Title Here

The school bell rang shrilly, signaling all Domino High students to hurry to class. Joey Wheeler was one such student. He was almost completely out of breath when he finally reached his Technical Theatre class five minutes later.

"Glad you could join us, Mr. Wheeler," the teacher drawled, glaring at the blonde over his glasses.

Joey sweatdropped, "Sorry 'bout that Mr. Bombadil, got sidetracked." He quickly slipped into his seat, conveniently placed beside his best friend, Yugi and inconveniently placed beside his worst enemy, Seto Kaiba.

Yugi, violet eyes shining with hidden amusement, smiled at Joey, "What sidetracked you, Joey?"

"The cheerleading squad captain's underwear," Seto drawled, a smirk on his face.

Joey snorted, "Not likely, seeing as you're the captain of the cheer squad!"

Seto blinked, slightly surprised at the mutt's unusually quick retort. "Silence, mutant," was his only response.

"I ain't a mutant, moneybags!" Joey snapped.

"How do you know? Have you ever tried not being a mutant?" Seto replied, pausing for a moment, "If you haven't, than you can't say you aren't a mutant."

Every student within hearing range fell silent as they attempted to figure out the CEO's logic; Joey struggling horribly. Thankfully, Mr. Bombadil saved the class from too much of a headache.

"Attention class," the teacher announced, "as you know, our prop, costume and set rooms are in horrible disarray. They must be organized, so I am assigning groups to each section." A few groans followed the statement, every student dreading being assigned to the 'C' train, aka, the Death Trap.

The unlucky five to be assigned the Death Trap were none other Yugi, Joey, Tea, Duke and Seto. Reluctantly, the five walked the short distance to the large metallic bin holding the huge pieces of sets from previous school plays.

Tea and Duke were deep in conversation about religion. "If God was a cat, would you run him over?" Tea asked the dice gamer.

Duke paused, a frown on his face, "No. But if he were a squirrel...that's a different story."

"Poor little squirrel!" Tea gasped, moving away from Duke with a disgusted look on her face. But when she moved away, she walked right into the 'C' train door, left wide open. Due to the collision of girl and door, a large turtle prop was knocked off the roof of the 'C' train.

The turtle landed on unsuspecting Yugi's face, startling the short boy. "Wah! Help! An evil giant turtle is trying to steal my face!" He raced in circles, arms waving wildly as he tried to unlatch the prop.

Doing his best to control his laughter, Seto grabbed a large piece of wood. Not even bothering to aim properly, he swung the hunk of prop like a baseball bat, successfully knocking the turtle off Yugi's face.

Falling to his knees, Yugi smiled gratefully at Seto, "Thanks, Kaiba! You saved me!"

Seto rolled his eyes, "Moron, it was just a prop." He turned away from the wild-haired midget and entered the 'C' train. A few seconds later he emerged with a large rifle in his hands and a sinister smirk on his face. "Hey, Wheeler!"

Joey turned around to face the CEO and came face to barrel with the gun. Yelping, he jumped backwards, "What da Hell are ya doin' with a gun, Kaiba!?"

Seto half-smiled, one finger on the trigger, "Time to dance, mutt!" He aimed the rifle at Joey's feet.

Joey immediately hopped out of the cross-hairs sight, "Are you nuts, Kaiba!?"

"Dance, dance on the concrete! Unless you have a death wish!" Seto demanded, again adjusting his aim to focus on Joey's shoes.

"All right, all right, just don't shoot me!" Joey whined, doing a poor attempt at an Irish jig. As he danced, slowly moving away from Seto, he was unaware of the 'C' train behind him. With a startled yelp, the blonde tumbled backwards into the 'C' train, managing to get himself lodged upside-down in a wooden barrel.

"Joey!" Yugi gasped, hurrying to the struggling teen's side, "are you all right?"

Joey, his voice muffled from the barrel, yelled "Help! I can't breathe!" He kicked his legs frantically in an attempt to tip over the barrel.

Duke, shaking his head in frustration, pushed the barrel over and freed the blonde. "You couldn't suffocate in there, there're too many holes in it!"

Joey laughed nervously, "Eh heh, I guess I just sorta panicked."

Tea, hands on her hips, glared at Seto, "It wouldn't have happened in the first place if you hadn't tried to kill Joey with that gun!"

Seto sighed, striking the rifle against the 'C' train door and watching as it broke in half. "Idiots! It's a damn prop! Wasn't that obvious? The 'C' train does hold props, after all."

All four remained silent, wondering why they hadn't thought of that.

"Can we just get back to work?" Duke asked, in hopes of putting their stupidity behind them.

Somehow, Seto had been voted to climb into the 'C' train. He wasn't happy about it, but at least it kept him away from the others. Working methodically, he began to toss large pieces of wood and heavy props at his three companions; finding complete amusement in watching them struggle to keep up with him and protect the materials.

After thirty minutes, the 'C' train was half empty, yet Seto had ceased to throw out more props.

"Hey, Kaiba! What's takin' so long in dare?" Joey demanded, trying to peer through the inky darkness of the 'C' train.

"The wood's too big, I can't get it out! Ugghhhh!!!!" Seto replied, a strained and annoyed tone in his voice.

Duke blinked, sweatdropping, "I'm not even gonna ask..."

All of a sudden, Seto tumbled out of the 'C' train, a large wooden tree in his hands. Lying on the ground, he sighed with relief, holding up the tree, "I got you, you tricky bastard!"

"Are you talking to a cut-out tree?" Yugi asked, bafflement written all over his face.

"So what if I am?" Seto answered, climbing to his feet, "I have every right to yell at it after all the trouble it gave me to remove from that Hell hole!" He shook the tree viciously, muttering curses under his breath.

Duke sighed, "Someone's spent way too much time in the 'C' train..."

"Can we just finish this job and get back to class?" Tea asked, entering the 'C' train and tripping over a large painted flat.

As Mr. Bombadil dismissed his class, Tea, Yugi, Seto, Joey and Duke stumbled in. Each one was covered in scratches, bruises, dust and splinters; neither looked remotely happy.

"What in the name of all things sacred and Holy happened to you five?" Bombadil demanded, his eyes wide with surprise.

"Demonic barrels..." Joey muttered, falling to the floor.

"Giant turtles..." Yugi gasped, collapsing.

"Sinister flats..." Tea whined, fainting on the spot.

"Defiant trees..." Seto sighed, falling to his knees in exhaustion.

"Put simply...the 'C' train happened to us..." Duke finished before passing out.

The teacher blinked, eyeing the five unconscious students on his floor. "But the 'C' train's clean, right?"

A/N: Woot, I had fun with that one! Hope you guys liked it too, although there was a large number of inside jokes that you just won't get unless you're a techie, like me (Grins happily) Please review, for I am a review whore! (nervous laughter)


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